Countdown to Cinco de Mayo

As many of you know, I am Mexican. Thus Cinco de Mayo is very important to me...

OK- that's not true at all, but I do love me some Cinco de Mayo. In fact, it may be my favorite holiday. The weather is usually gorgeous and your only obligation is to drink margaritas and Coronas and possibly wear a sombrero. What's better than that? Brad even first told me he loved me on Cinco de Mayo, and although that first uttering was probably a bit booze-induced, the sentiment stuck, making Cinco de Mayo even that much more fabulous in my book.

I have been planning this year's Cinco de Mayo since about last July. The very pregnant me was big time craving a drink inspired holiday, and Cinco de Mayo seemed perfect! So, this weekend, I am headed to the lovely land of Philadelphia to hang out with some of my favorite drinking pals. One whole weekend. No kids. No laundry. No responsibilities. Just margaritas!

¡Viva Mexico!

"So mothers, be good to your daughters too"

Before having kids I would have never understood this feeling of wanting to do everything, and give everything, to ensure your child's life becomes everything; but I very much get it now! My ladies are just babies, but someday they'll be women, and the women they become are so very much dependent on the upbringing we give them. Talk about responsibility. Woah!

The list below was posted on facebook today and I think it is absolutely beautiful. Perfect words of wisdom that bring tears to my eyes! Mothers of daughters, this is a must read:

25 RULES FOR MOTHERS OF DAUGHTERS*

1. Paint her nails. Then let her scratch it off and dirty them up. Teach her to care about her appearance, and then quickly remind her that living and having fun is most important.

2. Let her put on your makeup, even if it means bright-red-smudged lips and streaked-blue eyes. Let her experiment in her attempts to be like you…then let her be herself.

3. Let her be wild. She may want to stay home and read books on the couch, or she may want to hop on the back of a motorcycle-gasp. She may be a homebody or a traveler. She may fall in love with the wrong boy, or meet mr. right at age 5. Try to remember that you were her age once. Everyone makes mistakes, let her make her own.

4. Be present. Be there for her at her Kindergarten performances, her dance recitals, her soccer games…her everyday-little-moments. When she looks through the crowds of people, she will be looking for your smile and pride. Show it to her as often as possible.

5. Encourage her to try on your shoes and play dress-up. If she would rather wear her brother’s superman cape with high heals, allow it. If she wants to wear a tutu or dinosaur costume to the grocery store, why stop her? She needs to decide who she is and be confident in her decision.

6. Teach her to be independent. Show her by example that woman can be strong. Find and follow your own passions. Search for outlets of expression and enjoyment for yourself- not just your husband or children. Define yourself by your own attributes, not by what others expect you to be. Know who you are as a person, and help your daughter find out who she is.

7. Pick flowers with her. Put them in her hair. There is nothing more beautiful than a girl and a flower.

8. Let her get messy. Get messy with her, no matter how much it makes you cringe inside. Splash in the puddles, throw snowballs, make mud pies, finger paint the walls: just let it happen. The most wonderful of memories are often the messy ones.

9. Give her good role models- you being one of them. Introduce her to successful woman- friends, co-workers, doctors, astronauts, or authors. Read to her about influential woman- Eleanor Roosevelt, Rosa Parks, Marie Curie. Read her the words of inspirational woman- Jane Austen, Sylvia Plath, Emily Dickinson. She should know that anything is possible.

10. Show her affection. Daughters will mimic the compassion of their mother. “I love yous” and Eskimo kisses go a long way.

11. Hold her hand. Whether she is 3 years-old in the parking lot or sixteen years old in the mall, hold on to her always- this will teach her to be confident in herself and proud of her family.

12. Believe in her. It is the moments that she does not believe in herself that she will need you to believe enough for both of you. Whether it is a spelling test in the first grade, a big game or recital, a first date, or the first day of college…remind her of the independent and capable woman you have taught her to be.

13. Tell her how beautiful she is. Whether it is her first day of Kindergarten, immediately after a soccer game where she is grass-stained and sweaty, or her wedding day. She needs your reminders. She needs your pride. She needs your reassurance. She is only human.

14. Love her father. Teach her to love a good man, like him. One who lets her be herself…she is after all wonderful.

15. Make forts with boxes and blankets. Help her to find magic in the ordinary, to imagine, to create and to believe in fairy tales. Someday she will make her 5 by 5 dorm-room her home with magic touches and inspiration. And she will fall in love with a boy and believe him to be Prince Charming.

16. Read to her. Read her Dr. Seuss and Eric Carle. But also remember the power of Sylvia Plath and Robert Frost. Show her the beauty of words on a page and let her see you enjoy them. Words can be simply written and simply spoken, yet can harvest so much meaning. Help her to find their meaning.

17. Teach her how to love- with passion and kisses. Love her passionately. Love her father passionately and her siblings passionately. Express your love. Show her how to love with no restraint. Let her get her heart broken and try again. Let her cry, and gush, giggle and scream. She will love like you love or hate like you hate. So, choose love for both you and her.

18. Encourage her to dance and sing. Dance and sing with her- even if it sounds or looks horrible. Let her wiggle to nursery rhymes. Let her dance on her daddy's feet and spin in your arms. Then later, let her blast noise and headbang in her bedroom with her door shut if she wants. Or karaoke to Tom Petty in the living room if she would rather. Introduce her to the classics- like The Beatles- and listen to her latest favorite- like Taylor Swift. Share the magic of music together, it will bring you closer- or at least create a soundtrack to your life together.

19. Share secrets together. Communicate. Talk. Talk about anything. Let her tell you about boys, friends, school. Listen. Ask questions. Share dreams, hopes, concerns. She is not only your daughter, you are not only her mother. Be her friend too.

20. Teach her manners. Because sometimes you have to be her mother, not just her friend. The world is a happier place when made up of polite words and smiles.

21. Teach her when to stand-up and when to walk away. Whether she has classmates who tease her because of her glasses, or a boyfriend who tells her she is too fat - let her know she does not have to listen. Make sure she knows how to demand respect - she is worthy of it. It does not mean she has to fight back with fists or words, because sometimes you say more with silence. Also make sure she knows which battles are worth fighting. Remind her that some people can be mean and nasty because of jealousy, or other personal reasons. Help her to understand when to shut her mouth and walk-away. Teach her to be the better person.

22. Let her choose who she loves. Even when you see through the charming boy she thinks he is, let her love him without your disapproving words; she will anyway. When he breaks her heart, be there for her with words of support rather than I told-you-so. Let her mess up again and again until she finds the one. And when she finds the one, tell her.

23. Mother her. Being a mother - to her - is undoubtedly one of your greatest accomplishments. Share with her the joys of motherhood, so one day she will want to be a mother too. Remind her over and over again with words and kisses that no one will ever love her like you love her. No one can replace or replicate a mother's love for their children.

24. Comfort her. Because sometimes you just need your mommy. When she is sick, rub her back, make her soup and cover her in blankets - no matter how old she is. Someday, if she is giving birth to her own child, push her hair out of her face, encourage her, and tell her how beautiful she is. These are the moments she will remember you for. And someday when her husband rubs her back in attempt to comfort her...she may just whisper, "I need my mommy."

25. Be home. When she is sick with a cold or broken heart, she will come to you; welcome her. When she is engaged or pregnant, she will run to you to share her news; embrace her. When she is lost or confused, she will search for you; find her. When she needs advice on boys, schools, friends or an outfit; tell her. She is your daughter and will always need a safe harbor - where she can turn a key to see comforting eyes and a familiar smile; be home.

 *This list wasn't attributed to any specific author. However, props to the wonderful Mama that came up with all of this!

Never thought I'd quote John Mayer (ugh- am I really doing this?), but I do think the lyrics of his song 'Daughter' are quite appropriate here:
So fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too

Mommy/baby selfies

On a night when it seems bedtime may never come! How is it only 7:22?

Soapboxing... take 1

The internet has essentially provided all of us with our own 'soapbox'. For better or worse. And, if you are reading this, you are just egging me on. I blame you.
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I am liberal. (shocker, right?) But it might surprise you all to know that I am not so liberal on some of the issues. And, since I am a self proclaimed wanna-be political pundit, I decided that maybe I should start expressing my opinions on some of the issues.

So, one by one, I'll take an issue and let y'all know my thoughts on said issue. You may very well disagree with me (my husband does on most things), but (for what it's worth), this is...

The World According to Amy:

* Issue 1- GUN CONTROL: The old "guns don't kill people, people kill people" is bullshit! Yes, someone needs to pull the trigger, but if a gun never factored into the equation, the sum would very likely NOT be someone dead! The same day that the horrible Newtown tragedy occurred, there was a psycho on the loose in an elementary school in China. BUT, he had a knife. And, although he stabbed 22 children and an elderly woman, they all lived to tell the story. Guns DO kill people!

If it were up to me, guns would be outlawed 100%. Period. End of story. I know there would still be bad guys out there with guns, but lately it's not the stereotypical 'bad guys' who are doing the bad things. You take away guns, you take away gun death. How's that for ultra-liberal?

People often use self-defense as their platform for needing/wanting/deserving a gun. But how often to you actually have the wherewithal in an attack situation, to actually get your gun ready and use it? To that I tell my mugging story. (Note: although the moral of this story is 'No Guns Please!', the secondary moral should certainly be 'Don't be a Jack-Ass and Walk Home Drunk Late at Night in the City!')

The year was 2006. Drunk Amy and her equally drunk roommate, Meg, were walking home after a fabulous night out in Philly. All of sudden, they were both on the ground. Some young bad man had knocked them both down (by punching them in the back) and was quickly taking all of their things, while quite meanly punching and kicking them both. Young bad man hurt the nice young ladies with his punches, but quickly ran off. He got their purses, money, phones, and keys. Both girls tearfully got up and began their quest to find a pay phone (which is quite difficult in this day and age), to remember anyone's phone number (since their phones were stolen and who knows phone numbers of the top of their head anymore?), and flag down a police man (which was easier said than done). It was a harrowing evening, but both girls made it through to tell the story. The bad man got away with a couple bucks, a few old phones, and one of Amy's shoes (still not sure about the motive for that one).

Thankfully though, neither drunk Amy or drunk Megan had a gun on them. If either had 1) bad, mean man could have very well could used it on them, turning a couple bruises into a life threatening situation, and 2) bad, mean man would have then become bad, mean, armed and dangerous man... Also, if either girl did have a gun, and  miraculously managed to get it out in time, did mean, bad man really deserve to potentially die for a couple bruises and a stolen flip-flop?

Violence is always going to exist, but we can heal from bruises and even from stabs. But, guns kills people, simply with the flick of a finger. Accidents happen. Moments of weakness or passion lead to people dead. And that makes me sad.

Guns are bad.

Food for thought...

This week flew right by!

Visitors, work catch-up, kids, groceries, housework... life. No time. But be back next week. Have a nice weekend y'all!

Office re-do

We finished the office renovations a couple months ago, but I am just getting around to posting about it. I'm really proud of how it turned out AND the fact that we did it all on a shoestring budget (at least in comparison to what it could have been)! The office was pretty much the last entire space in the house to tackle, and the re-do was SO needed. It was basically a non-functional space: the floors were growdy carpet tiles, the walls were white on top and painful bright yellow on the wainscoting, there was no storage or desk, and we sat on lawn chairs! (I'm working on finding some 'before' shots to make the pics of the transformation that much more impressive.)

Enter me with persistent nagging to get the renovation going, a pottery barn "inspiration pic" (first pic below), a joint desire to keep everything on a fairly tight budget, a hardworking husband... and voilà.

pic from Pottery Barn catalog  (pricey, pricey pieces, we seriously did our office for 1/8 of what it would have cost to buy these pieces from Pottery Barn)

The first things "we" (and by "we", I mean Brad) did were paint the walls- neutral beige on top and bright white on the bottom- (using paint we already had), and pull up the ugly carpet tiles and lay hardwood floor (definitely an investment, but not bad given it's a pretty small room). Then I went to Ikea and bought under desk storage units and drawers (and loaded them into the car myself. eh um, go me...) The pièce de résistance was next: Brad BUILT a gorgeous wooden desk top that wrapped around 2 entire walls and mounted to the storage units! (Seriously, I had NO idea he was this handy. Score 1 for me!) That left us with an entire empty corner of the room and, after some searching, I was able to find a pull-out sofa bed that fit perfectly. (We now have 2 queen size guest beds in our little house!) Add in a handful of amazingly fun Amy shopping trips for chairs, decorations, lamps, desk stuff, and throw pillows AND, we have a pretty big pimpin office if I do say so myself.

(Note- the office is fully functional at this point thus the bit of mess... Also, the unpacked boxes are all Brad. Somehow, with all of his vast free time, he has yet to get around to unpacking his files... slackass)

Life is short... travel!

 Instead of dwelling on yesterday's horribleness, which truly breaks my heart all over again, I choose to dwell on the beautiful things we can do with the life we are given and with the time we have. Life is beautiful and even the ugliest of acts can't change that!

One of my great passions was is traveling. I absolutely love exploring different places and seeing different cultures. I used to always say that there wasn't a place on this planet that I wouldn't want to go to and, although there are lots of places that I wouldn't bring kids to, the sentiment still holds true.

There is something so amazing about the people you meet and the adventures you have while traveling. It's like- just by having made the trip- we open ourselves up to the possibility of wild and crazy things happening. You really never know what you are gonna get. Some of the coolest things I've ever done have been while traveling: dancing on table tops in Paris, joining a street drum circle in Ghana (and getting a marriage proposal from a nice young man who promised me he was a tribal king and would make me his queen), eating (and drinking muchas) in a cave restaurant 40 feet below ground in Spain, off-roading in a jeep through the mountains of Tenerife, finding a baby octopus in Puerto Rico, hanging out on Croatian nude beaches with my brand new husband, seeing the Running of the Bulls in Pamplona (and sleeping in a park the night before to do so), dancing til the wee hours of the morning at a church turned nightclub in London, hiking a volcano in Scotland... really, I could go on and on here. (and I'm getting very nostalgic just thinking about all of this.)

But that's just it. This is what life's all about. Although the simplest things can definitely be some of the most magical, the big things are what stand out in our minds. They are the things that ingrain themselves in our memories and, combined, make us who we are.

Brad and I haven't really traveled since our honeymoon in Croatia. We did do a mini trip to Florida and a trip with his family to Aruba, but there hasn't been anything on our agenda for quite some time now. And I think that needs to change. Life is hectic. We have young babies and crazy busy schedules, but it's really no excuse. Maybe now is not the time for South American jungles or Asian beaches, BUT there's a whole lot of this world that we've yet to see. So, today I begin my quest to plan our next trip. We may not go far (there's an awful lot of US spots that I would love to go to), but we will go.

When in doubt, do as the Dalai Lama says:
"Once a year, go someplace you've never been before"

W.W.t.D.L.D.?

Yo Yo Yo Homey V

A little lightness on a not-so-light Marathon Monday

Learning to love the rain

When I was 16, my mom and I took a trip to Bermuda during my high school spring break. We had high hopes for the trip (me in my downplayed 'too-cool' teenage angst way, and Mom in her all out bubbly 'OMG bonding time' way); but we realized- much too late- that we were hitting Bermuda during the height of their rainy season. And, it poured the entire time! We made the best of it though, even renting scooters to cruise around the island- hurricane strength winds and a bit of a torrential downpour weren't going to stop us.

And we did have a good time (definitely the stuff that stories are made of), but I vividly remember lying in bed each night planning a way to get us to a sunny destination. There had to be a way. My plans ranged from chartering a plane to Miami (which was obviously realistic) to hopping a cruise boat headed south. (I can just see the headline now: "Mother/daughter stow-aways caught on luxury liner".) In the end, of course, we stayed in soggy Bermuda the entire time. Despite my elaborate fantasies, our reality was rainy Bermuda and that's where we stayed.

Fast forward 18 years, and I again find myself irrationally fantasizing about 'sunnier shores'. Although I truly live a charmed life (and I really do!), it's not much of a secret that I often find myself homesick for my family and friends back home (and around the country). And after my Mom's visit last week, I spent an hour online looking for a house in Maryland for her. For that hour, it was totally possible- a la the chartered plane to Miami. She could spend every other week here, gallivanting down the coast to spend time with me and her granddaughters, then jet-setting back up to live her life for a couple weeks before coming back down. (Her job would obviously cooperate.) I even looked into building a guest house (on our .5 acre property). Just like Bermuda, I truly believed there had to be a way that my girls could have their family in their everyday life.

Just like Bermuda though, this is nothing more than fantasy. The reality is I moved away, and many of the people I would choose to be in my everyday life are at least 5 hours away from me. I can daydream about what it would be like to have family close by, (and in the daydream, it's pretty awesome), but I have to come to terms with the fact that it's just not in the cards.

So... what can you do but make the best of it? We surround ourselves with the people we love here. (And we really do have an amazing group of family and friends here.) We visit home often. We have lots of visitors, and we send lots of pictures and make lots of phone calls...

In the end, we scooter in the rain because, although there is better weather out there, there are definitely worse things than getting a little bit wet. It's all about enjoying the adventure that lies before us- torrential winds and all.

Our little flower child

Rocking her Mommy's overalls! Retro fabulousness circa 1979.

Thanks to my Mom for keeping these gems all these years!

Love this

"As parents it’s not our job to toughen up our children to face a cruel and heartless world. It’s our job to raise children who will make the world a little less cruel and heartless."
~ L.R. Knost

My new co-worker

Meet Fin.

Sunday cheese-ers

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(although it looks like we are posing above a flower, it is actually the pom-pom on top of Violet's hat)

If it looks like a duck...

Verizon just laid Fios cable in our neighborhood and they have been coming door-to-door on the reg trying to get us to switch. The guys just stopped by a couple of minutes ago for the second time. (Which is my fault because I am actually considering a switch and I made the mistake of letting them know that... they smell weakness from a mile away.)

Last week when they stopped by, Violet was napping and Annie and I were walking outside to play with her new, big pimping, Radio Flyer tricycle. We pretty much walked right into them, so there was no avoiding the conversation. And, as I was talking to these guys (with my frumpy 5times too big sweatshirt, leggings, no make-up, and messy hair), I was thinking that it was funny that I looked like such a haggard housewife. I mean, I work. And I don't look like this everyday. (right?) I get out. (sometimes) I do my hair. I can look pretty damn cute. Obviously they just caught me at a bad time... What they saw and the truth are most definitely two very different things.

Then they came back today. And I looked exactly the same.
Hmm.

4 months already!

It's amazing how any given moment seems to last forever, but 4 months fly by like the blink of an eye! Pause please...